The use of a process-oriented approach to facilitate the planning and production stages of writing for adult students of English as a Foreign or Second Language
- by Nicola Holmes - 4 - appendix C

"Materialism rules! We live en a society where money is the only thing of value - where it is the most important thing in our lives."

Is this true in Spain?.

1. Introduction.

Despite the current society is a group of consumers where exist a classification of people from the viewpoint how much money a person earn or how much he/she can spend, it seems there are more worried people because of the bad distribution of abundance on the world.

2. Reasons for agreeing with the statement.

From the, childhood, everybody must have a special thing if he want to be into that society. When you are a teenager or younger, you must wear a jacket, a pair of trousers, shoes, ..etc of a determinate trademark to be in a group of friends and when you are a adult, your qualification or your social class depend on your properties.

In addition to that, the spots in TV have a great amount of your free time and they use the mcdernist technologies for you "have to" need a special thing that you can not be happy without it. As a result of that pression, the current man/woman looks for the happiness because of the consume.

3. Reasons for disagreeing with the statement
Already, Latin model is the most important kind of family despite the American exani[ple. To the most people the most important things are the family and friends and spend a lot of free time to speak, to communicate with other people and

understand their problems.

In addition to that, Spanish is famous people like "Quijotes" because he/she is able to fight for lost causes (lawsuit). What is more, there are some national examples because of the popular opinion where Spain is able to have bad relations with other friends countries because of a idea (Pinochet, Arabian, Argentina, ....) despite that decision can bring economics problems.
The ONG's are more importants in the opinion of Spanish and they have more number of active members.

IV. Conclusion. Your final opinion.

In my opinion, Spanish is worried because other people can have to eat, to dress, ... a similar lifestyle like we have. All the world have a great number of problems because of the ethnics, religious, nationals, ... differences. I think, Spanish society is doing a serious effort to help to people with more problems and, what is more, that impulse climbs everyday. As a result of that, I do not think Spanish is materialist and that money is the most important thing in our lives, in my opinion the social causes are more important than money.

Joaquin. (20/12/99)

Joaquin

Your presentation and paragraphing is wonderful! Well done! I also like the focus of having the title the top of the page, although I think you don't need to keep the individual paragraph headings.

Your overall structure and organisation is great, but sometimes your sentences can be a ht overcomplicated and difficult to understand. Check each sentence carefully and make sure it has a clear subject and verb. Maybe you could simplify some of them.

o In addition to that and as a result of that; in paragraph two and nicely used, although this would be more usual than that.

o I also like your use of what is more in para 3. However, some of the other uses of linkers in the text are not quite right, especially despite in paragraphs one and three. I'm not sure I understand these sentences. Could you explain them to me?

o Can you find more English alternatives for some of these:
abundance, a determinate trademark, qualification, spots, modernest, pression, the consume, bad relations with, ON/Os, more number of doing an effort.......

o Be careful! In English, adjectives don't take 's' in the plural!

o Check your use of 'the' - we use it when we talk about something specific, but not when we talk about something in general.

o What's the adjective of 'materialism'?

o Check your verbs! Be careful not to have singular subjects with plural verbs or vice versa!

Well done and good luck with your next draft!

"Materialism rules! We live en a society where money is the only thing of value - where it is the most important thing in our lives."
Is this true in Spain?.

1. Introduction.

Most people in our society classify a person from the viewpoint about how much money he/she earns or can spend, like if the society were a group of consumers where everyone has a valour according to what he/she can buy.
However, it seems there are more worried people because of the bad distribution of wealth in the world now.

2. Reasons for agreeing with the statement.

From the childhood, everybody must have a special thing if he wants to be into this society. When you are a teenager or younger, you must wear a jacket, a pair of trousers, shoes, ..etc of a particular label to be in a group of friends and when you are an adult, your career or your social class depends on your properties -place where you are living, how your house is, your car,... .- or lifestyle -where you are going on holidays, how you spend your free time, In addition to this, the announcements in TV take a great
amount of your free time and use the most recent technologies for you "have to" need a special thing that you can not be happy without it. As a result of this pressure, the current man/woman looks for the happiness because of the consumption.

3. Reasons for disagreeing with the statement.

Despite American example (TV), Latin model still is the most important kind of family in Spain. To most people the most important things are the family and friends and they spend a lot of free time to speak; to communicate with other people and understand their problems.
In addition to this, Spanish are famous people because of their quixotic behaviour and they are able to fight for lost causes or lawsuits. What is more, like national example, Spain is able to be on bad terms with other friend countries due to the popular opinion (Pinochet, Arabian, Argentina, ...) and this decision can bring economic and political problems. Also, NGOs are more important in the opinion of Spanish and have more active members everyday.

4. Conclusion. Your final opinion.

All the world have a great number of problems because of the ethnic, religious, national, ... differences and Spanish society is making an effort to help to people with more problems and, what is more, this impulse climbs everyday. In my opinion, Spanish are worried because other people can eat, dress, ... have a similar lifestyle like we have.

To conclude, I do not think Spanish are materialistic and money is the most important thing in our lives, but the social causes are more important than money.

Joaquin Valencia (24/1/00)

Dear Yvonne,

I'll try explain you my opinion on the issue of materialism in Spain.
Each person needs earn enough money to pay the basic needs: food, clothes, and house. If you have these things probably you'll live a lot of years. But, for living integrated with your neighbours, family, friends and people in your country you'll need some more things like telephone, water and heat into your house, TV, electricity, a comfortable bed, special clothes for special situations and all those things that help us to live comfortably. Our comfort will be bigger if we have more money to buy all these things. This structure is a way of life and give the most important role to the money.

By other side, in Spain we can find a lot of people that work helping other people without earning some money. In addition to this, a large number of people say that, although money is very important, is very important too to work with friendly partners in the job that you want, to have a good relation with your family, to have health and to have some free time to practice your hobbies. But rarely we can hear that it will be better that poverty vanished.

People in all the countries live always looking for their own happiness and, living into a developed country we are daily hearing that we'll get more happiness earning more money and spending more money. This is the message that people receive in UK, Germany, France, Spain and all the European developed countries. If now Britannic, German, French and Spanish people have different opinion on this issue these differences can't be big, and while the days are advancing (sure, there is a best sentence) differences are decreasing.

I think, governments are trying, or can try foment other way of life, but those who are sending the materialist message have got a lot of economic power and they like the world in this way.

That's all I can tell you by the moment. If you want that I tell you more about this or another issue I'll be happy being able to help you.

Your sincerely:

JAVIER

29.12.99

Javier

I like the friendly way you beqin and end in letter format - however, maybe you could keep this as a separate note from your composition.

You have some very interesting and complex ideas, which you illustrate well! Well done!

I think maybe you could put paragraph three before paragraph two, then you have two
paragraphs explaining why money is import-ant to Spanish people and then a third giving an
alternative opinion.

Your conclusion contains a very interesting idea. could you expand this? What about
ordinary people - are they completely materialistic in the final analysis? Are they victims of the government and people with economic power?

I like your use of in addition to this and although in paragraph two - well done! However,
I think you should try to include some more tinkers in the whole text. What alternatives could
you use for 'But' (para 1) and 'by other side' (para 2- this expression doesn't really exist)

Be careful with some prepositions:
need ___dost
pay___st
try __ do st
__the moment
want so ___dost

What's the difference between 'into' and 'in' and 'some and 'any'?

Be careful with Spanglish:
____ is very important
work partners
a good relation with your family
foment
__other way of life

I like your concluding point; in para 3 and you express it; very nicely. Maybe you could say 'as time goes on. the differences between us are increasing'

Well done and good luck with your final draft!

Each person needs to earn enough money to pay for the basic needs: food, clothes and house. If you have these things probably you'll live a lot of years. Although, for living integrated with your neighbours, family, friends and people in your country you'll need some more things like telephone, water and heat in your house, TV, electricity, a comfortable bed, special clothes for special situations and all those things that help us to live comfortably. Our comfort will be bigger if we have more money to buy all these things. This structure is a way of life and give the most important role to the money.

People in all the countries live always looking for their own happiness and, living into a developed country we are daily hearing that we'll get more happiness earning more money and spending more money. This is the message that people receive in UK, Germany, France, Spain and all the European developed countries. If now Britannic, German, French and Spanish people have different opinion on this issue these differences can't be big, and as time goes on, the differences between us are decreasing.

In Spain we can find a lot of people that work helping other people without earning some money. In addition to this, a large number of people say that, although money is very important, it's very important to have a good job with good colleges, to have a good relationship with your family, to have health and to have some free time to practice your hobbies. But rarely we can hear that it will be better that poverty vanished.

I think, governments are trying, or can try to promote another way of life, but those who are sending the materialist message have got a lot of economic power and they like the world in this way. A lot of people have accepted the materialist live, but, those who didn't have accepted it would must try choose the goverment that it's able to change this and make groups (lobbies) against the materialism, in favour to another important things.

- I don't know how can I substitute "but".
- I've eliminated "by other side" and I haven't used alternative.
- Difference between "into" and "in ": I must use "into" when something is in the interior of another thing. "In" can be used in this way and in other different ways. ~Is this true?.
- Difference between 'some" and "any": "Some" is the word for affirmative sentences, and "any" for negative or interrogative sentences.
- What is the problem with " other way of life"?. What's the difference between "other" and "another"?.

JAVIER
25.01.00