B: Don’t worry about it Jim I’ll get it.
Da: Hi Barbara
De: Hi Mam
Da: Alright Jim
J im: Hiya Dave
Da: What’s up with Barbara Jim? She looks a bit upset. Denise’s gone in kitchen with her
J: Oh there’s nothing wrong with her. It’s the menopause the bloody change do you know what I’m up to there with it
B: I’m just his bloody skivvy it was worse when your Nana was staying I’d come home from work and that sink would be full of pots they’d be fighting and I just wanted to get my coat on and go somewhere
De: Ah Mam, he’s just so lazy
B: Well, he hasn’t got any hobbies I try and think of things for him to do he does the crossword in the paper right so I bought him a puzzler the other day and he just went mad he said I’d wasted £1.70 and he wouldn’t speak to me for the rest of the night it’s not a life this it’s just a bloody existence
De: And he’s always got bits of food stuck in his beard
B: Well he never has a wash
J: How long does it last this change mullarkey?
Da: Don’t know a few years innit?
J: Bloody hell!
B: The only time he has a wash is when he goes to the doctor’s he just sits there mouthing off in that chair another time I came in your Nana’s face was like thunder he wouldn’t put drops her in
De: He’s just so selfish
B: Poor Anthony He’s got no confidence Jim’s knocked it all out of him, calling him a lanky streak of piss all the time
De: Well he has got a point there
J: Has your Mam had her change yet?
Da: Don’t know she’s not said nowt.
B: So most of the time, most of the time, I put up with it while you two were growing up
B: Now I don’t know why I’m here Denise
De: Oh Mam you could come and live with us no you could,
B: Oh Denise,
De: When that baby’s born I’m going to be rushed off my feet
J: Tell you what, Dave, you should have seen her before she’s gone too far this time
J: Bang! she just switched the telly off
D: No need for that.
J: That’s what I mean
De: (Comforting Barbara who is crying) Oh Oh Do you like my new top?
J: I’m not one of those husbands that goes out every night admittedly I would if I could afford it. I have two nights and one afternoon a week and it’s still not bloody good enough
Da: I don’t want to get involved Jim she does work hard though
J: Hard my arse a couple of hours in the bloody bakery
Da: Erm I don’t want to get involved it’s nowt to do with me
J: The trouble with me lad is I’m too bloody easy-going she walks all over me I mean the days she does work in the bakery it can be half seven, a quarter to eight before my tea’s ready I don’t say nothing I just get on with it.
B: He’s got no conversation about him at all do you know he absolutely hated work hated it I always thought that when he gave it up I ‘d see a lovely side of Jim that I’d never seen before. There isn’t one.
B: You know the doctor said about this HRT thing. He said have a little think and go discuss it with your husband all Jim could say was: That HRT’s horse’s piss and them doctors are raking it in